August 31, 2009

I heard a quote yesterday by Peggy Tabor Millin that resonated with me. ” We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace.” I asked myself what would happen if I lived with more awareness of this thought. How would I interact with the grocery clerk, the station attendant, my waiter or waitress that was serving me? The seemingly anonymous people in my life that I only brush up against in passing—would I look more deeply into their eyes, would I smile readily, not fearing they may not smile back or even acknowledge me? I wondered if I became more intentional about extending the feeling(or vibration) of love would they FEEL it, would it make a difference?  There was an author on television the other day who wrote about the rules of civility and he said there is one principle in which all ethical systems are based: “We ought to treat others as ends in themselves rather than a means for our own satisfaction of our immediate needs and desires.”  As I thought more about this, I felt something stir within, perhaps a new standard to  which I would be willing to hold myself accountable especially when I am rushed.   I want to be more conscious of how I touch others, more intentional in each interaction no matter how lightly and that it is  I WANT TO EXTEND THE TOUCH WITH LOVE .



August 24, 2009

Sometimes I distract myself with stimulants, shopping, people, alcohol, overscheduling of activities—-anything that can keep me moving in the opposite direction of what I say I want. Staying connected to my Deeper Guidance  will always PROVIDE the next step that moves me in the direction of my intention, even if it is standing still while I get aligned more fully. I CHOOSE TO MOVE AWAY FROM IT. The interesting thing about it being a choice is that I do not always recognize the choice until after I have made it and am steeped in the consequence of it.  At that point I am wondering how I left myself, my DEEPER GUIDANCE, my knowing, the feelings of confidence and joyous expectation that accompanies the feeling of being connected.  I back track to the place where I can remember feeling connected and focused. I see that I was a bit uncomfortable with the sense of peace–realizing that the feeling of being anxious is like an old friend, so I do(quite unconsciously I might add) what creates that feeling–I trade a soothing cup of chamomille tea for a hit of very strong coffee. Wheee–that gets it going, but shortly there after there is a bit of a crash and it is NOT peaceful. ( DO I HAVE ENERGY CONFUSED WITH ANXIETY?) Then the feeling of anxiety is back and although I do not like it, I KNOW IT. This then is the focus. I watch my thoughts and how they interfere with my desired focus. I am lost to the race. Somewhere down the line I take notice of  what IS, and the distance from where I WANT to be. I then attempt to move back into the connection with my DEEPER SELF. This entails the  stopping of some behaviors–for me stopping any stimulants, taking time to meditate, walk, write or find quiet time. This immediately begins to turn things around. The first point of reconnection feels good. I then expand that feeling by continuing to do the things that support the guidance and connection. Getting use to the feeling of being peaceful is an inside job that even though I say I WANT, apparently I need to gain a tolerance for. Who would have known? Blessings and PEACE(as much as you can tolerate)!

LIVING OUR QUESTIONS–Are you a holy whore to anything?

August 10, 2009

Well, it has been some time since I have written. Much family visiting for the summer and it has been wonderful. I recently got in to a discussion about the archtype of the prostitute. As usual, more questions arose than answers. Do we  all have a prostitute within? Is there something anyone of us would whore ourselves for if push came to shove? I cannot speak for anyone else, but I was surprised to find that I have a big one. Mine is the self discovery whore–and she runs my life with a vengence. She drags me here and there with her own demands and I follow like a stray dog looking for some scrap of food to fill my empty belly. I am lured by the new, the surprising, the expansion that is promised for that deeper part of me. I found a wonderful man the second time around who understands this part of me and often even celebrates it. But it wouldn’t matter, because she RULES no matter what. It is a force within that drives so strong and so hard even I stand back at times and wonder ….what the hay? Since it is an archetype, I challenge you to find yours, that thread through out your life that has consisitently lured you, sometimes  in its calling, causing great joy or pain. Usually the painful memory fades as you answer the call again and again, a bit like childbirth–when in the throws of it you are so sure you will never do it again and then you do. This seems like a frivolous question, but look a little deeper, it hold the promise of SELF DISCOVERY. The reason I mention the word holy is because when she takes over with me, she always promises a feeling and sense of feels holy and sacred, both the process and the outcome. Of course it only lasts until she calls again, which is sometimes days, moments or even seconds. Always she calls, I can forever count on that! Be Well.